Holding Back Tears [prod. Apollo Brown]

from Central Standard Time by Stik Figa

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lyrics

Look, was never lyrical but read a couple books,
was more than criminal I empathized with crooks,
life give the minimal so scraps is what we took, s
o when it's critical no time to be shook.
Ain't say I'm hood but my neighbors ain't invite me in,
made them uncomfortable I used to wish for lighter skin,
I used to hate myself my mind was sick is my defense,
low self-esteem not aligning more with righteous men.
Since Tiwanne died my mind kind of switched,
another homicide lied on the dry cement,
I couldn't even cry all I wanted was revenge,
some wounds never heal, even time couldn't fix.
The tide I'm against in a ship ready to capsize,
in troubled water's I guess I'm getting baptized,
as for forgiveness for every time that I backslide,
would be a miracle drown in hate for the last time.

[Chorus]

Holding back tears, going back years,
ain't want to feel pain, I let go of that fear,
I been holding back tears (repeat 2x)

Look, was never any good with matters of the heart,
don't hand me yours if you been fragile from the start,
not skilled in discipline or mastering the art,
designer fabrics are more flattering with scars.
I'm a flawed man, ah man,
look, glad my salvation wasn't left into y'all hands,
if you ain't never had to scrape, scratch or crawl man,
I don't need your opinion cause you an off brand.
Now try and picture my frame of mind,
portraits develop in dark rooms it's taking time,
a fine craft on display with a great design,
often at a loss for words but I can make it rhyme.
I'm guess I'm saying that I'm on a soul search,
and when all that glitters ain't gold barely denotes worth,
numb the pain the liquor says that it don't hurt,
holding back tears I pray to God that I don't burst

[Chorus]

[2nd Chorus]

Bear the burden, share the sermon,
tell the truth then, share my purpose
the times now it's never been more urgent (2x)
I been holding back tears

credits

from Central Standard Time, released January 27, 2017

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Stik Figa Fort Worth, Texas

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